Friday, May 05, 2006

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

Hola chiquititas and Esses. Como estan?

So, went to Berlin last night, and had lots of fun with Cassie and DORK. Good times. Tonight is my friend Jessica's Birthday, looking forward to seeing her. Dinner with Emma too!

On with la Post:

First and foremost, a note to Stavros from the bottom of my heart.

Dear Stavros,

I see your aching heart in your eyes. Your sexy, rich eyes. I think that Paris is a fool for letting you go. Do you want to make out with me?

smooches. -G


But seriously folks, isnt he just super cute? Apparently Stavros had a crying fit in front of some nightclub about it all. Sad. On the OTHER hand, Paris and Stavros may not have broken up for the reasons they give in the media. It looks like the Greek billionaire has become the latest victim of the horror that has been tearing through Hollywood - Lindsay Lohan's vagina. Good Ole Stavz was seen with La Lohan "sipping cocktails and dirty dancing" at the L.A. club, Element. Three days later, Niarchos was seen leaving Lohan's room at the Chateau Marmont.

Hell if I were La Lohan's Vaj, I would go for the kill to.

Three Cheers to Lindsay Lohan's loose virginia!

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Madonna has a tight-ass back.

I am a young man, and I wish I had her back. I fuckin hate that bitch.

Here are a couple more pics from her W mag shoot:


She's really pretty amazing. I mean, I know this shit is airbrushed, but still... she looks phenominal.

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I don't care what anyone says, I like skinny Nicole.

I'm not saying that she is a picture of health, or sending out a good message, but I like to look at her chicken legs in all of those designer frock she dives into. she's like twiggy. I also think she is funny and doesn't give a fuck, which i also like. She just wants to have some fun.

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So here is a pic of Xtina Aguilera out and about of her on the set of her new video.

People are trashing her to bits, but I think she looks hot, albeit slightly like a blow up doll. Like a blonde betty page. I also like the fact that she is doing something TOTALLY different than the rest of the stupid hollywood whores right now. I'm interested to hear her new stuff. I've always thought that xtina was the most unfortunately misguided talent. She has some killer pipes.

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I've never liked Eva Longoria.

I just think she is sort of a dumb bitch.

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Now what happened to Keshia Knight Pulliam?

KKP Played Rudy Huxtable on one of my all time fave shows "The Cosby Show". She was flippin cute, and then she started to grow a mustache, so they brought in Raven Simone to be the cute one.

WHAT'S SHE UP TO NOW?

She grew up MUCH hotter than Fatass Raven, did a porn, and was just in the movie Barbershop with Queen Latifah. She went to college or something too. No babies or husbands yet. Maybe she still wants to make a couple more pornos. I say go for the gold, KK! Cash in on that pseudo-fame!
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And lastly I leave you with Tom Cruise performing a mating dance native to his home planet zornox Z2b3



Fucking creepy dude.

I'm off. Ta for now.

-G-

Thursday, May 04, 2006

hmm...

No BritBrit press conference yet... but I am anxiously awaiting.

What could it be?

-Is she converting to scientology?
-Is she retiring?
-Is she actually a man?

I can't take the waiting any longer.

I must talk about something else.

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PIZAZZ!

I saw this vid awhile ago, rediscovered it today, and now I am sharing it with you. Funny shit.


So, speaking of pizazz, last night was full of it. Emma came with me to moonshine for Lucas's Mamby party. 1/2 price pizza and a pitcher of margaritas. Good times had by all. Hipolito and Elana spun last night. Tons of fun.

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Found a new picture of Miss Jackson, and I must say: Bitch looks GREAT!

Nice job jan. Now all you have to do is come out with some music that makes up for the last two atrocious albums you released. I believe in her, though. She is like Madonna, she's going to keep trying until she gets a hit. Apparently her long-time producers (Jimmy-Jam and Terry Lewis) said that her new album (Which is entitled "20 years old") is similar to her 'CONTROL' album, and that there are a lot of 80's style throwbacks. Intersting... I think the 80's thing is a smart move. Her first single "Call On Me" is hitting radiowaves on June 19th.

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Elijah Wood is currently filming some retardo movie, and, I can't believe I am saying this, but I think he looks hot in this picture.
But It's elijah Wood. And that is gross. Sexiugly. Good for him for de-fagging though. He needed to shake off the frodo/bilbo thing.

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I beg you to please watch this video all the way through. PLEASE... and with the SOUND UP. Don't die.

STOP (wave of the hands) (jogjogjog... plop) OUH OUH OUH OUH OUH

I know it's wrong to laugh when people get hurt, but this is HILARIOUS shit. Especially the News Anchors at the end... "I think that she's ACTUALLY HURT there... uhhhh."

REALLY? DO YOU? I Wasn't sure, you goddamned fool.

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Oh Whitney... What have you done?

and where the fuck are your eyebrows?

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Whatever Happened to PUNKY BREWSTER?

Punky was played by Soliel Moon Frye. She was a mischevious little girl who was often too smart for her own good. She was known for her freckly pigtails and unconventional Family Sitch. I think that most people really liked the show because she had killer outfits.

WHERE IS SHE NOW? Soliel was on the show ""Sabrina the Teenage Witch" with fellow child-star Melissa Joan Hart of Clarissa Explains it All fame. She grew some boobies and got extentions. She likes to fuck directors and wear shirts that show her cleave. I personally think that she sort of looks like a less fug Alanis Morrisette.

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WOW. Well, I think that this is supposed to be sexy. I think it is just funny as all hell. If you are offended by the idea of a group of completely nekked men shaking their dicks in your face, I highly recommend that you Not watch this video. And totally NSFW.



I think that the funniest parts are the music, the smoke machine, the haircuts, the abundance of flapping penises, the backdrop, the dancer with the mullet and the red hairband. It's all fucking funny.

I've gotta go work out bitches. Love yaz.

peace
-G-

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Cheeky Monkeys and Railway Trains

The above title holds absolutely no bearing on the actual content of this post, f yer i. I just thought that it had a certain panache. I mean, come on, MONKEYS and TRAINS?!?! How much more fun could it get?

On with today's post.

Foist of all, Tonight I am going to be @ Mamby @ Moonshine to drop off my music and chill and listen to awesome DJ's spin day shizz.

Fun times. Come hang out if you feel up to it.

So in other Local News:

Jennifer Boringston plopped down a whopping 10 mil for a posh pad in suburban chicago. GOD.. she's so boring I'm not even going to post a picture of her mousey ass.

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I have a new favorite model, and her name is CAROLINE TRENTINI. She is a new face on the scene and I think she has a promising future. She is like 11 feet tall, stems like microphone stands, and an honest face. Her style of modeling is so refreshing.


She is fucking silly and hilarious and I love her.

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Some token cute Brazil boy buts to get you in the mood for summer fun and sex!

And if you are a straight man, I've posted some serious wanking material below:

Oh shut up, you know you wanna taste that Star Jones flava.

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In other non-celeb news, Japanese researchers invent a completely transparent material. You can go to this website to read more about it. I think it's pretty interesting and the possibilities are endless!

http://www.engadget.com/2006/05/02/japanese-reseachers-invent-completely-transparent-material/

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Oh by the way, Liza says hi!

God, I LOVE Liza Minelli. She is a goddamned gem. She is a barrel of laughs and has been through some shit. Liza teaches us all to take everything in stride.

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OMG, don't die! I think this picture of Nikki Hilton is HILARIOUS!

It's like she is spelunking for precious metals.

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FAT CELEBS FOR FUN!

Jennifer Hate Spewit


Cristina Aguilera


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Apparently Lindsay Lohan fucked Paris's ex, Stavros Nicharos or what ever the fuck his name is, last night. Starving Nichoise. Hey, I thought he was hot, I wouldnt pass that shit up either.

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Tom, honey, listen to me carefully... here's what we're gonna do. We are going to go to your canadian compound (because you and I know you have one) and you are going to call your homeland planet Zorbitron and tell them that you have collected all of the info on the human race that you can and that you are ready to be picked up. Then we'll fly to NYC real quick and you will buy me dinner at Nobu, and a Toyota Prius. Then you will give me your sunglasses as they make you look like you are 75 years old, and would look SMASHING on me what with my exotic good-looks and new fabulous wardrobe (that you, of course, will provide) Then we'll fly back to your compound, where your ride will be waiting and you will walk onto your mothership and wave good bye to me as the hatch closes.

Here is a hilarious picture of Debbie Gibson @ the AIDS walk in Ft. Lauderdale. Ummmmm, Debbie hun, you're awfully supportive.

Maybe you could at least stand up?

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For those Strangers With Candy fans out there, I Present to you BROKEBACK FLATPOINT.



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Time for another...



What could have ever happened to YAHOO SERIOUS? (I am laughing so hard as I type this)



If you recall, Yahoo had a moment in the spotlight with his movie Young Einstein. He was one of Australia's hottest imports since Crocodile Dundee. He has ridiculous hair and a knack for ... well.... not much. He has a six-pack, an australian accent and I'm pretty sure that was the novelty. I'm really glad it's no longer the early 90's.

WHERE IS HE NOW? Well, he tried to make more movies, but they sucked total ass. He got some honorary degree in Australia where he resides. Not much news. Nothing Shocking.

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Anna Nicole is close to getting all of that old geezers $exibucks.

And you know what? I think that she SHOULD get it. She paid her dues. She slept with that bag-o-bones, and now she should get a big ole bag-o-moolah.

I must go to the market now, dears. My cupboards are bloody bald.

ta for now.

-G-

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Brit Brit has something to tell you...

... but you won't find out until her press conference on Thursday.

What a bitch! She sure knows how to get the peeps excited. I'm pretty sure that she will either be anouncing that:

a) She is totally preggers again.
b) She is releasing a new album. (It is slated for November, followed by a world tour)
c) She is leaving K-Fug.

I would prefer B and C, but I guess we'll just have to wait and find out.

Nothing really struck my fancy in the goss world today, so... no dice.

I don't have a juicy post for today, but I promise that I will tomorrow.

A juice bar, eevun.

And since I didnt post any other pics today, I am posting a random album cover that I find humorous.



W

O

W

Nice Back, Ma'am.

'till tomorrow

-G-