a toxic and often sexual cheese danish

I am pretty much flabergasted.

I am pretty much dumbfounded... like.... I founded dumb. I am the President and CEO of DUMB co.

I am at my job right now and there isnt much to be done because the program that we normally work on BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I am sitting in my 'workspace' (I've begun referring to my cubical as my 'workspace' as it makes me feel more accomplished and less like a number)daydreaming... thinking up a stratagem for my current life situation. I like to do this. Create little schemes that may or may not play out. I love a good "what if"... it will always take me to a special place. (Usually to my couch, with a bowl of cereal.)

-What if the universe that we live in (and believe is endless) is actually encapsulated inside the hollowed out crust of a GIGANTIC planet that is part of an infinite universe where the sky is red instead of black?

-What if I die the only person knowing the formula for eternal life?

-What if Britney DOES make an amazing comeback and is stronger and hotter than ever?

-What if the HIV test I just took comes back positive?

-What if my life is just one big experiment, and we are all actually lab rats being manipulated to do things to eachother?

-What if I am actually crazy, but too good at pretending that I'm not for anyone to notice?

-What if the Bears WON the Super Bowl?

-What if my rich aunt is planning on leaving me a huge inheritance because she remembers the one time I came to her house unannounced and surprised her attempting to make some sort of legitimate connection and failing miserably? (FAT CHANCE)

-What if noone is reading this blog and I am just doing it because I need someplace for all of my crazy to go?

-What if I am actually AFRAID of the unfamiliarity of happiness like all the self-help books tell me I am?

It's 3:12pm. It's a toosdee (tuesday) and I'm just choppin at the bit, wanting to get out of here, go home, workout, work on my music and hit the muthafuckin hay so I can do it ALL OVER AGAIN TOMORROW. I think I might be a little fried. This is the 9th day in a row that I have worked. I've been pulling a lot of over time (or OT as we like to call it here at the office) and I feel like maybe it's time I take a day off this weekend. Sunday? What will I do with an entire day to myself! Oh Joyous Occasion! I do need to get some window treatments for my bedroom.

Let's talk about my neighborhood for a second, guys. Well, I suppose refering to the reader(s) as "guys" might be a little presumptuous. (i.e. that more than 3 people are going to read this, all of them male) So let's just talk about it, much-loved and appreciated reader.

I live in Brooklyn. People ask where and honestly, I couldnt tell them. Some call it East Williamsburg (mostly the brokers) and the locals call it West Bushwick because they are scared of gentrification and also because the younger ones just want to seem cool and tough and scary. I like to call it West Bushwick only because I like the fact that when you get out of the Subway at my stop, spray painted (looking very much like a BEWARE OF DOG sign) along a brick building reads the words "Welcome to WEST BUSHWICK". For those of you that dont know Brooklyn:

-WILLIAMSBURG is where all the faggot art kids live. It's where all the models and hipsters and cool cats live. It's being called one of the fashion capitals of the world right now. It's basically a lot of vegan cafes, Marc Jacobs head-to-toe, spirulina shots and birkin bags. It is why Urban Outfitters is so popular. It is what the east village was 12 years ago or whatever. Basically, it's really annoying unless you are the Misshapes and have a trust fund... then it is a fucking blast. That might be what makes it oddly appealing.

-BUSHWICK is where my Auntie Maria lives. It's tortillas and rattling tin fences. Bushwick is where they still have dog fights and play dominoes on the sidewalk sitting on buckets. Everything is questionable: the produce, the deli on the corner with the smoked windows, the 'OPEN' sign in the window of the physicians office and the sanity of anyone you pass on the street. Bushwick is families and cooking at home and staying warm, no matter how ridiculous you look.

Long story short, In Bushwick you can buy a live chicken and cook it on a spit in your yard, where as in Williamsburg you can buy 'Tofurky' and cook it on your hibachi in your 'raw' loft space. It's all very relative once you're there.

So this is my neighborhood... I'm on the border. I'm basically at the point where people got confused and so they just put the boar's head distribution headquarters there and called it a day. Sometimes the industrial overtones are refreshing and subtly post-modern and make me feel super cool and ahead of the game... sometimes it just feels desolate and cold and completely detatched from NYC proper... Either way, it's what I call home.

Welcome to Bushburg.

He's no Madonna

As some of you know, I am a wannabe popstar. I thrive on juicy beats, unexpected yet accessable chords, killer basslines and innovative visuals to pull it all together. I like PURE pop too... little flecks of different styles are important, but there is something about a really well-written and accessable pop-song that is so fun and indulgent.

So this morning, I decided that in honor of the new year (which apparently, I just can't let go of) and all things POP, I would like to put the spotlight on a few acts that I think are redefining the worldwide pop scene.

May I introduce to you (in no specific order):

Gregory's TOP OF THE POPS for 2007!

1. The Knife

What can I say about The Knife? They have a pop-sensibility like no other. They are the only band last year to successfully utilize steel drum in an electro pop song and make it sound fluid. Amazing and totally original. I can't get enough of these fucking swede sons of bitches. Try "Pass this on" or "Heartbeats".

www.theknife.net


2. Sophie Ellis-Bextor

Think Kylie with a british accent, a penchant for posh, and a hankering for ballgowns. Sophie is the queen of UK fancy pop. Her most recent single is an interesting mix of electronic and classic pop; a slight departure from her usual soft-sided pop. She is coming into her own, and I couldnt be more thrilled. Check out the video for her new single 'Catch You' above, or check out her other singles 'Mixed Up World' and 'Murder on the Dancefloor'.

www.sophieellisbextor.net


3. Margaret Berger



Margaret is the best thing to come out of Scandinavia since the flight attendant from SAS that I had a one night stand with back in '04. She is unbridled pop lusciousness. And yeah, she may have stolen a little from Goldfrapp... and she might have also been inspired by Kylie's recent severe looks (Can't get you outta my head)... but she has a tone and mood all her own. Give her a shot. Try "Samantha".

www.margaretberger.no


4. Pet Shop Boys



Tried and true: the pet shop boys are here for you. They always manage to create mood-altering music. Their atmospheric and electronically complex melodies and beats and half-assed vocals make for their easy and accessable, yet slightly dark, sound. There is something magic that happens during the mixing process that blends it all into a shocking and soothing mix of pop bliss. Hot peppers in brownies. It seems so wrong, but spicy chocolate is OH SO GOOD ;) Watch the video for 'Minimal' above, or check out 'Samurai in Autumn' or 'I'm with Stupid'.

www.petshopboys.co.uk


5. Björk



Björk needs no introduction. She is the queen B of abnormality, the challenger of all things sacred in popular music. She wants you to listen with all 248907 of your ears because she's got something very important to say and if you miss out... well... you're rubbish. She is at the forefront of pop music, a total pioneer and an original artist. People are doing now, what she was doing in 1997. She is currently working on an album with an unlikely sampling of producers, namely Timbaland, who's recent collaborations with Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake have made him more popular than ever before. Unlikely combo, indeed. Check the vid for 'Triumph of a Heart' Off her last release Medulla, which was composed entirely of noises made by humans; OR give her back catalogue a check and try 'Human Behaviour' or 'Pagan Poetry'.

www.bjork.com


6. Robyn



Poor Robyn. The girl has had it rough. She has a severe look and is a little rusty on the perfomance front, But she is a fucking trooper, and despite the fact that she cant get a break stateside (Do y'all remember the song 'Show Me Love'? Yes... this is the same, now self penned and produced Robyn), she is building a huge audience in the UK and Sweden. She is also willing to put her prettiness aside to make serious point, which I REALLY respect, especially in the industry today. Beside all of that shit, bitch's music is some of the hottest shit I have heard in a while. She is self-sufficient and multi-talented and definitely deserves a listen. Check out 'Be Mine' and 'Konichiwa Bitches'.

www.robyn.com


7. Kylie



Kylie is BACK and she has BIG plans and a new attitude. Having recently won a battle with breast cancer, and lost BIG TIME in love (She recently discovered that her boyfriend Olivier Martinez was a big whore while she was holed up in a cancer clinic), Kylie is ready to react... This bitch is fueled up and ready to blow!

Where as Madonna is the queen of pop, Kylie is the Princess. Although Madge may have more piston power, Princess Kylie is a little less INSANE and also a little more feminine, which is refreshing put up against Madonna's bossy and recently extremely predictable behaviour. She'll never have the public voice that Madonna does, nor the ability to find the coolest work in the industry and steal it and make it her own, but she DOES have a keen sense of electronic pop and showmanship, a great ass, a great look, and a cuteness that Madonna could NEVER acheive, no matter how hard she tried. She is not a formidable character, and that is exactly what is so refreshing about the princess of all things pop. The video above is live from her recent homecoming concert in AU. She is performing a song written by The Scissor Sistors entitled "White Diamond" Check it out. Want more? Give 'Slow' or 'Chocolate' a try... sure to titilate even the tightest of cunts.

www.kylie.com


8. Juvelen (The Juvelen EP)



Juevelen is currently restoring my faith in Male Pop music culture. This guy is a one man show (not unlike myself) and is making heads turn with his off-kilter romantic sounds. His sounds evoke a feeling of longing, playful romance... but also carry undertones of shiny red vinyl car seats, chocolate sauce, 8-bit graphics and finger-fucking. It's hard to explain. You just have to listen. The video above is a live performance of his song 'Hanna'. My fave, though, is available on the klicktrak site, linked below. The song is titled 'Summer - Spring'. (BTW, you literally have to click the trackbar to keep it going, it stops every 30 seconds.)

www.klicktrack.com/shop/release.jsp?r=18699&tn=2
juvelenjuvelen.com


9. The Legends (Facts and Figures)
























The legends are, in my humble opinion, the Y-me generation's answer to the cure.

They have a very similar sensibility and tone, yet they still manage to get across a cute whine that the pet shop boys have never really cared enough to emote.

Where the The Lightning Seeds are heart, the Legends are soul. They have clear influences from many bands, but one thing holds true, these guys have the right idea. Try 'Darling' and 'Disco Sucks'. This is another Klicktrack artist.

http://www.klicktrack.com/shop/release.jsp?r=14695&tn=8
http://www.labrador.se/artists/legends.php3
http://www.myspace.com/heknowsthesun


10. Goldfrapp



Goldfrapp=Pure Sexy Glittery Whitewashed Pop Brilliance. This duo from UK is at the forefront of the electropop scene right now. They have influenced almost every mainstream european pop act since thr relase of their 2001 album 'Black Cherry'. Since then they have toured and released a new album 'Supernature' a little less arcadia than the previous release, a little smoother and also a little more otherworldly. Also check out We are Glitter, Goldfrapp's remix album. They are currently touring worldwide, making people everywhere cum in their pants. Try 'Ooh La La' or 'Ride a White Horse'.

www.goldfrapp.com

So there you have it folks. My favesies for the big '07. Take em or leave em, I see bright futures for these people. I hope that I, at least, enlightened some of you to a few new faves of your own!

Ciao for now suckaz!

Snaps.

I am planning on posting more today, but I wanted to share this video with you. This is my good friend, roommate and co-conspirator Kara Buller. She recently did stand up at Caronline's on Broadway and rocked the fucking house. Here is an excerpt from her show.

One Day...

One Day I'm Going To:

-Be famous and get out of a limo wearing a skirt with no underwear and flash the paparazzi a la lindsey lohan/britney spears/paris hilton. Let's see if they print THAT!

What will YOU do one day? Fly to the moon? Come out of the closet?

Leave a comment below and tell me! Next week I'll post my favorites!

Smooches ;)
-G