a toxic and often sexual cheese danish
I am pretty much flabergasted.
I am pretty much dumbfounded... like.... I founded dumb. I am the President and CEO of DUMB co.
I am at my job right now and there isnt much to be done because the program that we normally work on BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I am sitting in my 'workspace' (I've begun referring to my cubical as my 'workspace' as it makes me feel more accomplished and less like a number)daydreaming... thinking up a stratagem for my current life situation. I like to do this. Create little schemes that may or may not play out. I love a good "what if"... it will always take me to a special place. (Usually to my couch, with a bowl of cereal.)
-What if the universe that we live in (and believe is endless) is actually encapsulated inside the hollowed out crust of a GIGANTIC planet that is part of an infinite universe where the sky is red instead of black?
-What if I die the only person knowing the formula for eternal life?
-What if Britney DOES make an amazing comeback and is stronger and hotter than ever?
-What if the HIV test I just took comes back positive?
-What if my life is just one big experiment, and we are all actually lab rats being manipulated to do things to eachother?
-What if I am actually crazy, but too good at pretending that I'm not for anyone to notice?
-What if the Bears WON the Super Bowl?
-What if my rich aunt is planning on leaving me a huge inheritance because she remembers the one time I came to her house unannounced and surprised her attempting to make some sort of legitimate connection and failing miserably? (FAT CHANCE)
-What if noone is reading this blog and I am just doing it because I need someplace for all of my crazy to go?
-What if I am actually AFRAID of the unfamiliarity of happiness like all the self-help books tell me I am?
It's 3:12pm. It's a toosdee (tuesday) and I'm just choppin at the bit, wanting to get out of here, go home, workout, work on my music and hit the muthafuckin hay so I can do it ALL OVER AGAIN TOMORROW. I think I might be a little fried. This is the 9th day in a row that I have worked. I've been pulling a lot of over time (or OT as we like to call it here at the office) and I feel like maybe it's time I take a day off this weekend. Sunday? What will I do with an entire day to myself! Oh Joyous Occasion! I do need to get some window treatments for my bedroom.
Let's talk about my neighborhood for a second, guys. Well, I suppose refering to the reader(s) as "guys" might be a little presumptuous. (i.e. that more than 3 people are going to read this, all of them male) So let's just talk about it, much-loved and appreciated reader.
I live in Brooklyn. People ask where and honestly, I couldnt tell them. Some call it East Williamsburg (mostly the brokers) and the locals call it West Bushwick because they are scared of gentrification and also because the younger ones just want to seem cool and tough and scary. I like to call it West Bushwick only because I like the fact that when you get out of the Subway at my stop, spray painted (looking very much like a BEWARE OF DOG sign) along a brick building reads the words "Welcome to WEST BUSHWICK". For those of you that dont know Brooklyn:
-WILLIAMSBURG is where all the faggot art kids live. It's where all the models and hipsters and cool cats live. It's being called one of the fashion capitals of the world right now. It's basically a lot of vegan cafes, Marc Jacobs head-to-toe, spirulina shots and birkin bags. It is why Urban Outfitters is so popular. It is what the east village was 12 years ago or whatever. Basically, it's really annoying unless you are the Misshapes and have a trust fund... then it is a fucking blast. That might be what makes it oddly appealing.
-BUSHWICK is where my Auntie Maria lives. It's tortillas and rattling tin fences. Bushwick is where they still have dog fights and play dominoes on the sidewalk sitting on buckets. Everything is questionable: the produce, the deli on the corner with the smoked windows, the 'OPEN' sign in the window of the physicians office and the sanity of anyone you pass on the street. Bushwick is families and cooking at home and staying warm, no matter how ridiculous you look.
Long story short, In Bushwick you can buy a live chicken and cook it on a spit in your yard, where as in Williamsburg you can buy 'Tofurky' and cook it on your hibachi in your 'raw' loft space. It's all very relative once you're there.
So this is my neighborhood... I'm on the border. I'm basically at the point where people got confused and so they just put the boar's head distribution headquarters there and called it a day. Sometimes the industrial overtones are refreshing and subtly post-modern and make me feel super cool and ahead of the game... sometimes it just feels desolate and cold and completely detatched from NYC proper... Either way, it's what I call home.
Welcome to Bushburg.
I am pretty much dumbfounded... like.... I founded dumb. I am the President and CEO of DUMB co.
I am at my job right now and there isnt much to be done because the program that we normally work on BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. I am sitting in my 'workspace' (I've begun referring to my cubical as my 'workspace' as it makes me feel more accomplished and less like a number)daydreaming... thinking up a stratagem for my current life situation. I like to do this. Create little schemes that may or may not play out. I love a good "what if"... it will always take me to a special place. (Usually to my couch, with a bowl of cereal.)
-What if the universe that we live in (and believe is endless) is actually encapsulated inside the hollowed out crust of a GIGANTIC planet that is part of an infinite universe where the sky is red instead of black?
-What if I die the only person knowing the formula for eternal life?
-What if Britney DOES make an amazing comeback and is stronger and hotter than ever?
-What if the HIV test I just took comes back positive?
-What if my life is just one big experiment, and we are all actually lab rats being manipulated to do things to eachother?
-What if I am actually crazy, but too good at pretending that I'm not for anyone to notice?
-What if the Bears WON the Super Bowl?
-What if my rich aunt is planning on leaving me a huge inheritance because she remembers the one time I came to her house unannounced and surprised her attempting to make some sort of legitimate connection and failing miserably? (FAT CHANCE)
-What if noone is reading this blog and I am just doing it because I need someplace for all of my crazy to go?
-What if I am actually AFRAID of the unfamiliarity of happiness like all the self-help books tell me I am?
It's 3:12pm. It's a toosdee (tuesday) and I'm just choppin at the bit, wanting to get out of here, go home, workout, work on my music and hit the muthafuckin hay so I can do it ALL OVER AGAIN TOMORROW. I think I might be a little fried. This is the 9th day in a row that I have worked. I've been pulling a lot of over time (or OT as we like to call it here at the office) and I feel like maybe it's time I take a day off this weekend. Sunday? What will I do with an entire day to myself! Oh Joyous Occasion! I do need to get some window treatments for my bedroom.
Let's talk about my neighborhood for a second, guys. Well, I suppose refering to the reader(s) as "guys" might be a little presumptuous. (i.e. that more than 3 people are going to read this, all of them male) So let's just talk about it, much-loved and appreciated reader.
I live in Brooklyn. People ask where and honestly, I couldnt tell them. Some call it East Williamsburg (mostly the brokers) and the locals call it West Bushwick because they are scared of gentrification and also because the younger ones just want to seem cool and tough and scary. I like to call it West Bushwick only because I like the fact that when you get out of the Subway at my stop, spray painted (looking very much like a BEWARE OF DOG sign) along a brick building reads the words "Welcome to WEST BUSHWICK". For those of you that dont know Brooklyn:
-WILLIAMSBURG is where all the faggot art kids live. It's where all the models and hipsters and cool cats live. It's being called one of the fashion capitals of the world right now. It's basically a lot of vegan cafes, Marc Jacobs head-to-toe, spirulina shots and birkin bags. It is why Urban Outfitters is so popular. It is what the east village was 12 years ago or whatever. Basically, it's really annoying unless you are the Misshapes and have a trust fund... then it is a fucking blast. That might be what makes it oddly appealing.
-BUSHWICK is where my Auntie Maria lives. It's tortillas and rattling tin fences. Bushwick is where they still have dog fights and play dominoes on the sidewalk sitting on buckets. Everything is questionable: the produce, the deli on the corner with the smoked windows, the 'OPEN' sign in the window of the physicians office and the sanity of anyone you pass on the street. Bushwick is families and cooking at home and staying warm, no matter how ridiculous you look.
Long story short, In Bushwick you can buy a live chicken and cook it on a spit in your yard, where as in Williamsburg you can buy 'Tofurky' and cook it on your hibachi in your 'raw' loft space. It's all very relative once you're there.
So this is my neighborhood... I'm on the border. I'm basically at the point where people got confused and so they just put the boar's head distribution headquarters there and called it a day. Sometimes the industrial overtones are refreshing and subtly post-modern and make me feel super cool and ahead of the game... sometimes it just feels desolate and cold and completely detatched from NYC proper... Either way, it's what I call home.
Welcome to Bushburg.
posted by Gregory at
2:57 PM
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