SPAMTASTIC

My friend Lauren and I were recently discussing getting random weird junk email and how, often times, said junk mail will contain a splattering of odd nonsensical insanity. We spent about 20 min chattin online, coming up with the most random spamliners we could, giggling our butts off. I am an avid fan of Gmail, and have been using it as my email server for a few years now. I have never had a spam in my main Gmail inbox... it was always sent to my spam box, until tonight. I was disappointed until I opened it and was delighted to read its insane and hilarious contents (favorite bits in red):

Hi,

V

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AA

G9

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1) Open your browser
2) Enter http://www.capedyinlax[do]com/
3) Replace "DO" with "."

--
Accomplish it with the aid of my penances.' the these vehicles
with that wealth and once more celestials and which existeth
not in the world the rifles spat flame into the deepening
dusk wounded, angry, leaving the boy with an irreconciliable
having beheld that excellent lord of all waters than by
the words, that eveena asked and i gave and water and pebbles
and leaves and flowers and at rome and send the work to
varro, should it a woman crying outside a little while ago.
i don't imagined, for their plans so persistently to miscarrybut
concealed, it is certain to increase. Having committed.

Oh you spammers with your funny language. Let me try and speak in your wobbly tongue...I'll give it my best shot:

Dare you take my dart, blithering days just for that sent to my hand. Karen called, cherry lakes are misgiving frequently and nepal. Pack and soliloquy may fortitude like iron little is it my for yours to give giving.

I might be a genius.