MY CRYSTAL BALL TELLS ME...

... that it's going to be another fun-filled day at work. I'm pooped. I'm looking forward to Friday. Actually, I keep thinking that today is Friday. Alas, big fat sadness every time I glance at my calendar.

Since a majority of my posts have been a bit detatched, I decided to get a bit personal with y'all, have a little chat... A heart-to-heart, if you don't mind.

This weekend I'm going to Philly. This was a total crapshoot and the only reason it is happening is because my roommate can get us a luxury suite at the park hyatt in downtown Philly for free and she wants to use it up as it's her last week there. THANK GOD. That girl and her Hyatt job, let me tell you. I think this is for the best though... she'll be much happier, I presume.

Unfortunately, the thing about Philly is that I just don't care about it. I don't need to see Independence Hall or the Liberty Bell. The ONLY thing I am interested in, is getting an authentic Philly Cheesesteak into my gullet as swiftly as possible. The rest, to me, is cake and champagne in the Hotel and a possible massage.

Scratch the massage... I'm as broke as they come.

So yeah looking forward to that. Some time away from the office and seeing a new city, pretending I'm nouveau-famous when I arrive. I don't visit cities, they visit me. etc etc... should be fine.

Really can not wait to get away from the office...

The other day I was sitting here and trying to work (on my blog and networking) and I couldn't help but listen to the loud assholes that were arguing behind me. The GREAT thing about this is that 2 straight men were arguing whether Madonna or Mariah Carey is the better singer. I remember thinking in that moment "I can't wait to write about this gay shit."

Alas, I don't care enough about it to write extensively about it. Take it from me, it's for the best. Long story short: it ended with me getting really frustrated (because I am a professional and I was trying to produce quality work) and throwing my headphones on, to no avail. I proceeded to call them both crazy fools and walk to the other side of the dept.

I mean come on... comparing Mariah to Madonna is like comparing Ursula the Seawitch to Cruella DeVille. One lives under the sea and manipulates whorish Mermaids into scams so she can eat them, and the other kills puppies and wears them and smokes fancy cigarettes. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Similar in the fact that they both have extreme vices, to the dismay of their respective communities. But different in their approaches. OMG I'm exhausting myself talking about this.

I'm getting hungry, trying to decide what to eat for lunch, kind of looking forward to Pilates today... there are a few reasons for this actually:

1) It makes me feel stronger and happier.
2) I've done cardio all week and I'm staring to feel like a squid or something... like my skin is falling off of my body... need to do some core work.
3) The instructor, a very pleasant woman, sometimes makes these LOUD, GLOTTAL noises that I think are fucking HILARIOUS. She'll be talking us through a movement while she does it along with us, and when it gets to a physically challenging part, all of a sudden, her voice gets really crazy and loud and throaty and insane. It really is one of my favorite parts of the week. I love trying to hold back laughter. It's my favorite feeling in the world.

OK I'm outtie, y'all.

Oh, and BTW, don't forget to send your questions to splutters@gmail.com for Care to answer. She's kind of a spitfire and is ready to go.