MADGE and her VADGE

Here is the alleged cover of Madonna's new album 'HARD CANDY' that has been cirulating amidst the blogosphere. I, of course, have to make a few comments...






1. Nice Vagina, Madonna.

2. The background looks oddly fleshlike, even though I think it is just wrinkled up posters with pictures of candy on them, sloppily glued onto some drywall. Still... it makes me uncomfortable. An aged Madge being vaccumed into an abyss of raw pink flesh. It's like the 90's all over again. (Shoots self)

3. We get it. You can kick our asses. Candy. Sweet, addictive... just like Madonna (Circa 1985). Give me something new, PLEASE! (I'm begging you.)

4. I'm not sure if that Arial Rounded MT BOLD font (w/drop shadow) is working. Looks a little slipshod and scotch-taped together to me. Not in the cool way, either. It looks like the end result cover page of a project I would have done in 4th grade. I can see it now...



"I called my hero project Hard Candy because I like Madonna and I like Candy and since I like them both, I wanted to put Candy in the title because I like them both, but I only eat candy. I don't eat Madonna because you can't eat Madonna because she is not Candy. She's a person. Some people eat other people. My Aunt Norma told me about them. She said that they are called Cannibals. My Aunt Norma told me that Madonna is a cannibal."


5. If she closed her cow legs and showed us maybe just a little heel (something maybe just a LITTLE femenine) she would look pretty awesome. I guess I just feel like I've seen this madonna before. It's like 'CONFESSIONS' Madonna, with a WWF belt on ecstacy.

6. All that being said, and aside from the fact that the new single '4 Minutes' is pretty much the dumbest crap I have ever heard, I am looking forward to hearing what the eff she brings to the table with this one. I hope we don't have another 'BEDTIME STORIES' on our hands...