The way chinese takeout tastes when you suspect that the cook has spit in your food

Last night my friend Emma and I went to Babylon for dinner. They didnt give me my honey-dipped lady finger. BITCHES.

Nice pick Emma.

On the walk home, delightful Emma and I were discussing videoblogging and decided that we were going to start our very own videoblog. (Sidenote: I just can't get this GD java inside of me fast enough) Emma works for an [ice cream shoppe] that is making a promotional [flavor] for one of those online [ice cream] companies. (NOTE: Parts of the last sentence were changed due to a conflict in rights of use of information and because Emma is a paranoid schizo, et al) They needed someone to dance for them on camera so they could transfer the images to animation and work them into the game. Of course I get suckered into this... so if sunday night you are having a nice jaunt down Damen Ave. and see the sillouhette of a BIG GAY doing the mashed potato, fear not: It is probably just me whoring myself out in front of the camcorder. So after some discussion, we decided that it might be fun if we posted some of these dances on our new videoblog. It might be nice for the viewer to be following along the videoblog and stumble upon some random shmo doing the oogabooga. Obviously I am thrilled at the prospect of this occurring. (Sidenote: I have totally been so hot on the old KLEER track 'Tonight'.)

I see a possible colab with MTV in the future... possibly commissioning me to do a workout video a la Carmen Electra's 'Striptease'.

I have been so bored lately. I'm really looking forward to warm weather. I miss going to the beach and burnin' one down.

I have pretty much stopped smoking cigarettes, which is good since I am a singer and I could lose my voice. (Please re-read the last sentence in a Blanche Devereaux accent to acheive the intended inflection.) Unfortch, whenever I become bored, I always get the urge to shove one of those sinsticks so far down my throat, and then just light it and breathe in and have that first drag off of the cigarette experience one more time.

I would love to have Rue McClanahan and Emma over for a nice pot of coffee and come chitchat. I bet Betty White is actually a big bitch in real life and I bet Rue would tell Me & Emma ALL ABOUT IT.

My Friend Jeffrey LOVES Betty White... he has 2 SIGNED HEADSHOTS of hers hanging in the guest bedroom at his place. So... I'm sorry, Jeffrey, for calling Betty White a big lesbian cuntfaced whore bitch.